Unfortunately, situations involving possible parental alienation or estrangement are complex and require a multi-faceted strategy. These posts will outline important considerations and proactive steps you should take if alienation or estrangement may become an issue in your case.
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2. Counseling for the Child
Therapy is often essential to help a child caught between parents.
Court-order vs. consent: Ideally, therapy should be court-ordered, but you should first propose it directly to your co-parent in neutral language.
Therapist selection: If your child has seen a therapist before, consider re-engaging with that provider. Otherwise, research therapists with experience in high-conflict divorce and alienation/estrangement dynamics.
Interviewing therapists: Do not rely on a short intake call. Schedule paid one-hour consultations (as interviews, not treatment) with shortlisted therapists. Ask about neutrality, confidentiality, court communication, and experience with alienation.
AFCC Guidelines: The Association of Family and Conciliation Courts (AFCC) publishes Guidelines for Court-Involved Therapy. Not all therapists are aware of them, but asking if a therapist is “AFCC informed” or willing to follow those guidelines is helpful.
Sample interview questions:
“Do you follow the AFCC Guidelines for Court-Involved Therapy and commit to staying in a treatment role (not offering custody opinions)?”
“How do you ensure both parents' informed consent and clarify limits of confidentiality?”
“How do you distinguish between alienation and estrangement when working with children?”
“How do you handle contact with GALs, schools, or courts while maintaining transparency?”
Keep your interview with the therapist child-focused. What to say:
“My child says they feel caught in the middle. I want them to have tools to cope and maintain relationships with both parents.”
“I want therapy to help my child, not to prove a point in litigation.”
What not to say (avoid biasing therapist):
“My ex is a narcissist.”
“I want therapy to show the court alienation is happening.”